Iv'e finally crossed the edge today, the one iv'e feared so much. I can't feel much of anything, not even the wonderous sting from a knife. I tried to be what she wanted, I tried to be all I could, but I guess in the end I loved her much more than she seemed to love me. I don't hate her, i'm not mad. My hearts just broken, if its still there. I can't feel a thing, I feel oh so numb. I want to die right now, at least then I'll be happy. No more tears of my sorrow, no more pain to hurt me. Death does not frighten me, it calls to me so sweetly. I almost let it take me, I almost lost my life. I want this pain to end right now, its tearing me apart. I can't think stright, I can't sleep, all I do is sit here thinking of you. The thoughts I recall, make tears form in my eyes, and when they start to fall I just can't seem to stop them. They go on forever until I can't breathe and when I think their over they start up once again. I want you in my arms right now, I want to tell you that it will be ok. I want to show how much I love you, no madder what the cost. I'd give my life away for you, I'd give you anything you want, if only you'd come bback to me, I'd give back my heart. You still hold it with you, in truth I don't want it back. It only causes me pain, and I'd rather you have it anyways. I want you to take care of it, it won't take all that much. Its not like I need it anymore, I don't plan to use it again. I guess this is the end, I dont't really know what to say. I hope you know how much I love you, and how mich I really care. I'll stay here for you only, because it would hurt you more if I left. I'll be here sitting quietly, of to the side. I'll wait for you forever, even if it kills me...... now thats a happy thought.